Harrasment - The blank noise project

In support of the blank noise project, I am putting my views and experiences with harrasment against women and the steps that I feel can be taken to mitigate the situation.

Scene 1 - I am in college. One of the guys is gloating over a 'triumph' he had today. His 'triumph' was groping a woman's breast in a DTP shop. Most of us were shocked on hearing this and were speechless. Some lauded him for his 'guts'. The matter died down queitly soon after. I forgot it complete within a couple of days.

Scene 2 - I was on vacation prior to joining my first job. I went with my cousin sister and uncle for a movie. Some local guys were giving lecherous looks at my sister. The entire situation was uncomfortable. We gave a stern look to the guys and went into the movie hall. The entire scene left a bad taste in my mouth.

What was the difference between the two situations ? In the first, the victim was an unknown woman and in the second it was my sister who was the victim. To cut the chase short, if you have to feel the enormity of harrasment you have to experience it with your kith or kin who is a lady. We can all engage in path breaking intellectual discussion on harrasment, but nothing drives home the point other than a real bitter experience. Harrasment is not restricted to ladies with gawky and gaudy dresses, the sex siren attitude but affects each and every woman on the street. Most women choose to ignore it while a handful fight back.

Most blogs talk of travails faced by women due to harrasment. While this is instructive in understanding how a woman is affected, I feel a much better appreciation of the problem can be understood by looking through a perpetrator's eyes, what goes through his mind, why he does what he does and what can be done to remedy the situation. I put a disclaimer here to the fact that what I write below is my sole opinion and are not actual facts that I have stumbled across in the pursuit of my journey through life.

First is the 'forbidden fruit' factor. Unlike the west, the division between men and women is much prevalent here. As a result, for most men in their late teens and mid twenties, woman is a type of 'forbidden fruit', a 'mystery' of whom he has many fantasies. When combined with others of a similar disposition, it leads to exploits that primarily gratify the fantasises he has built up. Lynching in buses and other activities are the end result of this. The guy who carries this out becomes a hero to some and this inturn encourages others to carry out these shamefaced acts. In retrospect, a permissive society is a two faced coin. If we don't have it we have harrasment against women and if we do have it we have unwanted teenage pregancies which in turn leads to higher criminal elements turning out in the streets.

Second is the anonymity factor. Most of perpetrators act in conditions of anonymity. Thus overcrowded public places like buses, trains, streets are places that provide a safe sanctuary for these people to carry out their designs as what they do could very easy be construed as being caused by the stampede of the crowd. Remove the anonymity, the actions will stop.

Thirdly, the 'easy' factor. Many times due to lack of a retaliatory reaction from women when faced with harrasment, the perpetrators take it that women like it and actually encourage men to do it. In the course of my life, I have come across many people who say this. The meekness with which women suffer from harrasment emboldens the perpetrators and they carry out their acts on others as well. This meekness is not just a female phenomenon, but is prevalent in males as well. These people suffer from exploitation all through their lives unless they retaliate back.
It is not enough that women give cues about her displeasure at being harrased, but should be vocal about it. Men in general are thick skulled to non verbal cues and understand things better when verbally said. My pet theory for this is that motherhood has made women more tuned to non verbal cues as a baby can hardly communicate its needs and wants and this inturn gets reflected in the lives of women. Men on the other hand was more of a food gatherer and used more of verbal skills to get his food.

Finally the lack of empathy. Many often women in forums ask 'What if this sort of harrasment was inflicted on the perpetrator's mother or sister? What then? '. The answer is many people (men and women) included never empathise with any situation. If that was so, most of the problems in the world would have been solved !! The standard answer that would come from such a perpetrator would be 'It is not my mother or sister'. Women shouldn't expect it from men and even from themselves.


While the entire discussion above was looking through the eyes of a perpetrator, it is only natural to ask what can be done to remedy this situation. My suggestions would be as follows:

1. When faced with harrasment in public places, retaliate vocally. It might be a good idea to talk in low tones first, but if the guy doesn't take the hint a vocal retaliation would put him in place. Nothing embarrases a guy or girl better than having the entire crew peering at you.

2. It is imprudent for anyone let alone a woman to go to a dark and lonely place all by themselves. The harrasment is for both sexes, may be more for women due to the 'oomph' factor.
3. Blank noise or other women help groups could conduct training programs for women to learn basic self defense and also be assertive inorder to implement point 1 above better.
4. Becoming a group with identifiable symbols would reduce the harrasment against the group. For example all blank noise members could wear an wrist band that identifies them as a group member. Now if these people see any woman getting harrased, let alone themselves and they pitch in to support the wronged person, then the incidence of harrasment would reduce when the members are around. It is the herd mentality coming into effect.
5. Lastly, mothers and sisters should provide insights to their male children or siblings about the problem and provide them with the right information inorder for them not to indulge in these type of activities in the future. Mostly male children are rarely informed about woman harrasment and he inturn gets misinformation about the same and start indulging in these sort of activities.

Ultimately I believe that only 5-10% of the male population could be labelled as a true pervert. For the rest, the overdose of misinformation, peer pressure makes them do acts which they wouldn't in the normal course of life. Clear retaliation incase of wrong doing, group support are some of the measures that can be taken to counter this.